Common English Mistakes in Transfer Essays by Cantonese Speakers

This page focuses on errors typically made by native Cantonese speakers from Hong Kong when writing a Transfer Essay in English.

Mistake Example #1

Overuse of direct translations from Cantonese

I am writing to apply fora transfer to your university because I want to addcontil tonue my studies and improve my future. In Hong Kong, we often say, "aAdd oil," to encourage someone, and I believe your university will give me the chance to do so. I hope you can give me a chance to show my abilities and let me lacquirearn more knowledge.

Text corrected by:
Vince, United States

"Your ideas were clear :) I just made a few small changes to improve the flow and polish things up."

I am writing to apply for a transfer to your university because I want to continue my studies and improve my future. In Hong Kong, we often say, "Add oil," to encourage someone, and I believe your university will give me the chance to do so. I hope you can give me a chance to show my abilities and let me acquire more knowledge.

I am writing to apply for transfer to your university because I want to add oil to my studies and improve my future. In Hong Kong, we often say "add oil" to encourage someone, and I believe your university will give me the chance to do so. I hope you can give me a chance to show my abilities and let me learn more knowledge.

Mistake Example #2

Confusion with countable vs. uncountable nouns ('She has much friends')

I am writing this transfer essay to explain why I want to move to your university. I have mucha strong interest in studying computer science, and your program offers many opportunities that are not available at my current school. Also, I have muchany friends who have transferred and they speak highly of the supportive environment and excellent faculty.

Text corrected by:
Gregg, Los Angeles, CA

"This needed some tweaking for countable vs. uncountable nouns."

I am writing this transfer essay to explain why I want to move to your university. I have a strong interest in studying computer science, and your program offers many opportunities that are not available at my current school. Also, I have many friends who have transferred and they speak highly of the supportive environment and excellent faculty.

I am writing this transfer essay to explain why I want to move to your university. I have much interest in studying computer science, and your program offers many opportunities that are not available at my current school. Also, I have much friends who have transferred and they speak highly of the supportive environment and excellent faculty.

Mistake Example #3

Overuse of 'very' to emphasize adjectives

I amvery excited abouto applying fora transfer to yourvery prestigious university. My current school isvery good, but I believe your program will offer me vmorery valuable opportunities to grow. I amvery eager to contribute to the student community and learn from veyoury experienced professors.

Text corrected by:
Jennifer, Detroit, Michigan USA

"Changes I made were mostly to improve fluidity and readability. Nicely done :)"

I am excited about applying for a transfer to your prestigious university. My current school is good, but I believe your program will offer me more valuable opportunities to grow. I am eager to contribute to the student community and learn from your experienced professors.

I am very excited to apply for transfer to your very prestigious university. My current school is very good, but I believe your program will offer me very valuable opportunities to grow. I am very eager to contribute to the student community and learn from very experienced professors.