Common English Mistakes in Investor Pitches by German Speakers

This page focuses on errors typically made by native German speakers from Germany when writing a Investor Pitch in English.

Mistake Example #1

Incorrect word order in subordinate clauses

Ladies and gentlemen, today I present to you our innovative solution, which will revolutionize how businesses manage their data. Our product, when implemented, itwill reduce costs by 30% and significantlyincrease efficiency significantly. We believe that, with your investment, we can expand our reach and, in the next year, double our market share.

Text corrected by:
Gregg, Los Angeles, CA

"This needed some fixing to correct word order problems."

Ladies and gentlemen, today I present to you our innovative solution which will revolutionize how businesses manage their data. Our product, when implemented, will reduce costs by 30% and significantly increase efficiency. We believe that, with your investment, we can expand our reach and, in the next year, double our market share.

Ladies and gentlemen, today I present to you our innovative solution, which will revolutionize how businesses manage their data. Our product, when implemented, it will reduce costs by 30% and increase efficiency significantly. We believe that, with your investment, we can expand our reach and, in the next year, double our market share.

Mistake Example #2

Overuse of passive voice

Our innovative product is being developed to revolutionize the renewable energy sector. TWe designed theis unique technologyhas been designed to maximize efficiency and reduce costs. By investing in our company, you can expect to achievea significant return on yourinvestmentis expected to be achieved within the first three years.

Text corrected by:
Jennifer, Detroit, Michigan USA

"I changed some of the passive voice constructions to the active voice to improve the flow of the text."

Our innovative product is being developed to revolutionize the renewable energy sector. We designed this unique technology to maximize efficiency and reduce costs. By investing in our company, you can expect to achieve a significant return on your investment within the first three years.

Our innovative product is being developed to revolutionize the renewable energy sector. The unique technology has been designed to maximize efficiency and reduce costs. By investing in our company, a significant return on investment is expected to be achieved within the first three years.

Mistake Example #3

Capitalizing all nouns (following German grammar rules)

Dear Investors, wWe are Eexcited to present ouran Iinnovative Ssolution that will Rrevolutionize the Eenergy Mmarket. Our Ccompany, based in Germany, has developed a Ttechnology that reduces Ccarbon Eemissions by 30%. We believe this is a significant Oopportunity for Ggrowth and Pprofit, andwe invite you to join us on this Jjourney to a Ssustainable Ffuture.

Text corrected by:
Gregg, Los Angeles, CA

"This needed some tweaking for capitalization consistency, among other adjustments."

Dear Investors, We are excited to present an innovative solution that will revolutionize the energy market. Our company, based in Germany, has developed a technology that reduces carbon emissions by 30%. We believe this is a significant opportunity for growth and profit, and invite you to join us on this journey to a sustainable future.

Dear Investors, we are Excited to present our Innovative Solution that will Revolutionize the Energy Market. Our Company, based in Germany, has developed a Technology that reduces Carbon Emissions by 30%. We believe this is a significant Opportunity for Growth and Profit, and we invite you to join us on this Journey to a Sustainable Future.