Common English Mistakes in Script Treatments by German Speakers

This page focuses on errors typically made by native German speakers from Germany when writing a Script Treatment in English.

Mistake Example #1

Incorrect word order in subordinate clauses

In the small village where the story begins, livesa young girl named Annawho dreams of adventures. When she discovers a mysterious map, she decides to follow it, although her parents warned her thatdangerous it could bedangerous. As the sun sets, she finds herself in a forest where the trees whisper secrets, and she realizes that the map, if readcorrectlyread, leads to a hidden treasure.

Text corrected by:
Gregg, Los Angeles, CA

"This needed some tweaking to correct word order problems."

In the small village where the story begins, a young girl named Anna dreams of adventures. When she discovers a mysterious map, she decides to follow it, although her parents warn her that it could be dangerous. As the sun sets, she finds herself in a forest where the trees whisper secrets, and she realizes that the map, if read correctly, leads to a hidden treasure.

In the small village where the story begins, lives a young girl named Anna who dreams of adventures. When she discovers a mysterious map, she decides to follow it, although her parents warned her that dangerous it could be. As the sun sets, she finds herself in a forest where the trees whisper secrets, and she realizes that the map, if correctly read, leads to a hidden treasure.

Mistake Example #2

Capitalizing all nouns (following German grammar rules)

In the ScriptTreatment for the Ffilm "The Journey of the Lost Soul," we follow the Pprotagonist, a Yyoung Wwoman named Anna, who embarks on a Qquest to find the Mmysterious City of Dreams. Along the Wway, she encounters a Wwise Oold Mman who offers her a Mmap and a Ccompass, claiming they will guide her through the Enchanted Forest. As Anna ventures deeper into the Fforest, she faces Cchallenges that test her Ccourage and Ddetermination, ultimately leading her to discover the Ttrue Mmeaning of Ffriendship and Sself-Ddiscovery.

Text corrected by:
Gregg, Los Angeles, CA

"This needed some tweaking to correct capitalization errors, among other fixes."

In the treatment for the film "The Journey of the Lost Soul," we follow the protagonist, a young woman named Anna, who embarks on a quest to find the mysterious City of Dreams. Along the way, she encounters a wise old man who offers her a map and a compass, claiming they will guide her through the Enchanted Forest. As Anna ventures deeper into the forest, she faces challenges that test her courage and determination, ultimately leading her to discover the true meaning of friendship and self-discovery.

In the Script Treatment for the Film "The Journey of the Lost Soul," we follow the Protagonist, a Young Woman named Anna, who embarks on a Quest to find the Mysterious City of Dreams. Along the Way, she encounters a Wise Old Man who offers her a Map and a Compass, claiming they will guide her through the Enchanted Forest. As Anna ventures deeper into the Forest, she faces Challenges that test her Courage and Determination, ultimately leading her to discover the True Meaning of Friendship and Self-Discovery.

Mistake Example #3

Overuse of passive voice

In the quiet town of Himmelsdorf, villagers planneda mysterious event. was bEveing planryoned by thevillagers.ly Tanticipated the ancient festival, which was celebrated every hundred years, was eagerly anticipated by everyone. The preparations werebeing handled with great care, and the costumes werebeing sewn by the local seamstresses. As the day approached, excitement was felt in the air, and elders toldstories of past festivalswere being told by the elders.

Text corrected by:
Vince, United States

"Just a few minor tweaks to improve flow and make the writing active :) Great work! "

In the quiet town of Himmelsdorf, villagers planned a mysterious event. Everyone eagerly anticipated the ancient festival, which was celebrated every hundred years. The preparations were handled with great care, and the costumes were sewn by the local seamstresses. As the day approached, excitement was felt in the air, and elders told stories of past festivals.

In the quiet town of Himmelsdorf, a mysterious event was being planned by the villagers. The ancient festival, which was celebrated every hundred years, was eagerly anticipated by everyone. The preparations were being handled with great care, and the costumes were being sewn by the local seamstresses. As the day approached, excitement was felt in the air, and stories of past festivals were being told by the elders.