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If you don't mind me asking vs If you don't mind my asking

These are both acceptable phrases, but they would be used in somewhat dissimilar contexts. 'If you don't mind me asking' is more informal and commonly used in everyday conversations. On the other hand, 'If you don't mind my asking' is slightly more formal and may be used in professional settings.
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Explained by Gregg
Editor at TextRanch

Last updated: March 18, 2025 • 5564 views

This phrase is correct and commonly used in informal conversations.

"If you don't mind me asking"

This phrase is used to politely ask a question or inquire about something in a casual setting.

Examples:

  • If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
  • If you don't mind me asking, where did you get that shirt?
  • If you don't mind me asking, sir, shouldn't NCIS be assisting with search and rescue?
  • If you don't mind me asking... what-what is this all about?
  • If you don't mind me asking, what is that banging noise?
  • If you don't mind me asking, what's a man of your age doing with all those kids.
  • If you don't mind me asking, what line of business you in?
  • If you don't mind me asking... what is the reason you are in this place?
  • If you don't mind me asking, why are we paying such attention to the bride of the King's champion?
  • If you don't mind me asking, what's the plan?
  • If you don't mind me asking why are you in this place?
  • If you don't mind me asking, what caused the rift in your relationship?
  • If you don't mind me asking, what kind of Professor are you, Professor?
  • If you don't mind me asking, how do you wind up in Chicago when you're from Romania?
  • If you don't mind me asking, how much do you make a week?
  • What's your interest, if you don't mind me asking?
  • What's wrong with you, if you don't mind me asking?
  • Nice. How much did that set you back, if you don't mind me asking?
  • What is the line of enquiry, if you don't mind me asking?
  • And if you don't mind me asking, why does your company need a medical consultant?
  • What happened, Nige, if you don't mind me asking?
  • So if you don't mind me asking, how did Jane react to getting a card from your mom?

Alternatives:

  • if you don't mind my asking
  • if I may ask
  • if I could ask
  • if I might inquire
  • if I could inquire

This phrase is correct and slightly more formal, suitable for professional or polite contexts.

"If you don't mind my asking"

This phrase is used to politely ask a question or inquire about something in a more formal setting.

Examples:

  • If you don't mind my asking, could you tell me how much this costs?
  • If you don't mind my asking, where did you receive your training?
  • If you don't mind my asking, what kind of business is your client in?
  • If you don't mind my asking, when was the last time you saw the victim?
  • If you don't mind my asking, how much does something like that cost?
  • If you don't mind my asking, if he's not faithful to you and he's not the father, what is he bringing to the table?
  • If you don't mind my asking, Colonel, deploy what exactly?
  • If you don't mind my asking, what'd you pay?
  • If you don't mind my asking, how much are you guys getting for... delivering me to Don Jose?
  • If you don't mind my asking, what have you been doing in the way of sustenance since you turned?
  • If you don't mind my asking, did you hit, like, a rock bottom moment?
  • So what was your last relationship, if you don't mind my asking?
  • NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING, WHAT MAKES A HOMICIDE A PRIORITY?
  • WHAT ARE YOU DOING, IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING? [CHUCKLES]
  • What kind of therapy do you practice, if you don't mind my asking?
  • If you don't mind my asking, what...
  • If you don't mind my asking.
  • If you don't mind my asking, ma'am.
  • If you don't mind my asking, you seem in pretty good spirits for someone facing possible jail time.
  • If you don't mind my asking, you seem in pretty good spirits for someone facing possible jail time.
  • If you don't mind my asking.
  • If you don't mind my asking, who took those pictures?

Alternatives:

  • if you don't mind me asking
  • if I may ask
  • if I could ask
  • if I might inquire
  • if I could inquire

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